The year was eighteen hundred and nighty seven when Patrick, a sea daisy from Nova Scotia, was whipped for reasons unknown by someone whose child had apparently fallen inside a garden party. This marked the beginning of a dispute that has largely gone unnoticed by the human population for more than a century. Still, and quite remarkably, it affected the human language in ways that changed the flower community forever.

The whooped sea daisy, Patrick who also goes by Pat for some strange reason, managed to get back up after the strange spanking it endured; the person whose child had fallen near Pat and had also performed the alleged spanking stated that it only patted the flower as a way to show affection. Now, it is well-known among the tulips and dandelions, who were also present at the time of the incident, that this person said “You poor thing” to Patrick or possibly but less likely the fallen toddler. This, of course, caused many to believe that either Patrick or quite possibly daisies in general, had a lower status than other flowers at the time. This seemed almost certain when humans began to state “Whoop sea daisy” whenever small accidents happened.

One would think that would be the end of it until humans also began to say “Up Sea daisy” as a way to encourage others to rise from a fall. This caused a split in the sea daisy community which confused not only every species of flower but the entire ecosystem of North America alone. Who was poor? The Up Sea Daisies or the Whooped Sea Daisies? Could it be both? The Up Sea Daisies believed that their status was higher, which is hard to dispute considering that the word “Up” is in their name. However, the whooped sea daisies assert that this is all about semantics and that none of them were poor and demanded backpay from the flower community due to what they call an “Obvious” misunderstanding.

Bud Flowers, spokesman and eccentric sniffer represents the whooped sea daisies and offered his two cents earlier this morning. “I’d give more but that’s all I have right now.” With that, I turn to my colleague and fellow commentator, Jarvis Ledfellow, what do you think of Bud’s strategy?

Well Brine, it’s a good un. Bud ain’t tellin’ ’em hodly a ting ah tall. Which leads me to bu leave dat thangs gone change round he-ow.

You heard that right, folks. And you can take that to the bank because Bud is the cream of the crop, but don’t be sour about this news. It’s just a dollop about the daisies. Now onto the potato!