A flock of Barleytons were pulled over by the state police for gallivanting about a cucumber that was left over in a stolen Olive Garden salad bowl. According to authorities, the Barleytons were quite upset with several bits of croutons for being unreasonably hard even when doused in Italian dressing. The texture of these “croutons” has been deemed malicious, if not certainly suspicious, due to the cubical pieces of bread trying but failing to hide among bits of lettuce and under shredded cheese. Birds of the same feather may flock together but dressing-drenched croutons among lettuce and cheese surely should not. The case would be closed for that fact alone if not for the missing olives and banana peppers, which are presumed to have been eaten by the flock of Barleytons. However, the Barleytons claim to be innocent of all crimes by reason of pure fabrication. At this time, no one knows if they exist, and if they do, no one knows what they are. More on this later, for now, where is my toothbrush?